A WOMAN WANTED ADVICE FROM THE INTERNET, WHEN HER ADOPTED DAUGHTER’S MOTHER WANTED TO MEET WITH HER BIOLOGICAL DAUGHTER
A desperate mother had wanted advice from the internet about her story, which was that the woman had adopted the baby girl that her son and her son’s ex had together, and then wanted to abandon her so the mother had adopted the new born baby girl.
She had explained the story as, “My daughter is (11F) her biological mother is (29F, Erica). My son (33M) got “Erica” pregnant, who we knew as a daughter of a friend and she decided she didn’t want the baby, my son didn’t want the baby either…we offered to financially help Erica out, if we were able to adopt the baby as we’d always wanted another child but it never happened for us.”
Then she stated that her husband had said to “Erica” that if she wants she might come and meet with their daughter, as she wrote, “We unfortunately have a poor relationship with our son, as he doesn’t want to be involved with our daughter but we see him and text him frequently enough, he visited us and told us Erica had asked to see our daughter – my husband had told her when she was pregnant that we MAY allow contact, but honestly we don’t think that’s best for our daughter at this stage.”
She had explained, “It’ll be confusing and upsetting, I told her when our daughter is emotionally well enough we’ll tell her, but right now she’s going through therapy for anxiety.”
Then she stated that her son and Erica is blaming her as she said, “My son thinks I’m TA, Erica has a 2 year old now and said she “couldn’t even imagine” how our daughter will feel when she does find out that Erica has a family, my son and Erica both believe I’m TA, but not only that Ericas parents that I’ve known for over 25 years are now refusing contact and insulting us to common friends saying they “allowed” the adoption, but Erica has a right to know her daughter.”
She had concluded her story and wanted some advice from the people on the internet, as she wrote, “Nobody had a problem 3 years ago when we went through this, Erica contacted us then and we shot her down telling her that we weren’t comfortable until our daughter was an adult, but now suddenly everyone is losing their mind.”
Here are some of the advices that people on the internet had given to the desperate mother.
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byu/SilentPut6722 from discussion
inAmItheAsshole
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byu/SilentPut6722 from discussion
inAmItheAsshole
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byu/SilentPut6722 from discussion
inAmItheAsshole
“Originally was going to go with N A H until I read that your daughter doesn’t even know she’s adopted. That is an important fact that every adopted child should know from the beginning. Even if it originated from a bad situation. Trust me, as an adopted child if I were to find out I was adopted years down the line, I would be PISSED. It’s better to tell her now before some serious resentment kicks in. Get her into therapy too.”
“YTA not for not wanting bio mum to meet. But for the fact your daughter doesn’t know she is adopted. That was a stupid move, as she will view this as being lied to her whole life. I agree to talk to her therapist about this and the best way to break the news to her. It sounds like you can’t rely on the people in the know to keep this info from her. It will be a 1000 times worse if someone else tells her first.”
“YTA … it really sounds like you „bought“ the child from her, because a „biologically related to you“ baby was on offer… ugh. Why on earth didn’t you let the kid know immediately where she comes from… I hope some adoptees speak up here, because from what I’ve read, it’s always healthier to establish contact to the birth parents if that’s safe… You chose the option most comfortable for yourselves… ugh. Tell your daughter where she comes from, yesterday!”
What do you think? Let us know.
