A WOMAN ASKED HER HUSBAND TO ADOPT HER NEPHEWS AND NIECE, HER HUSBAND ACCEPTED THE NEPHEWS BUT NOT THE NIECE, AND ASKED FOR ADVICE FROM THE PEOPLE ON REDDIT

A man had stated that he doesn’t want to adopt the niece of his wife, but accepted her nephews. He explained his reason and wanted advice from the Redditors, on the AITA subreddit.

A man stated that his sister-in-law was arrested, and her children got no one to care for them, and his wife wants to adopt them. “My wife’s sister was recently found guilty of dealing to support her habit. She will be sentenced this week and is looking toward a long term because this is not her first time caught dealing. She has 3 children, 2 boys (4 and 5) and a girl (14). No one on her family’s side wants to or are in a position to take the children except for me and my wife.”
Then he stated his demands from his wife as, “However, I’m demanding 2 conditions. If we’re going to take the children in, I want us to adopt them. I don’t want 50 people looking over our shoulders trying to tell us what to do. If we’re going to be legal responsible for them, I want to be able to parent them as we see fit. The 2nd condition is that I’m willing to take the 2 boys but not the girl.”

The man stated that the nephews are young, and can learn proper manners, but the niece is grown 14 year old with problems, therefore he doesn’t want her. “The 2 boys have not had any rules in their lives and are terrors but they’re still young and can be taught right from wrong. The girl has gone pass the point of no return. She’s been suspended from school several times for things like fighting and smoking illegal substances on school grounds. She’s also stolen from us and other family members. She’s dating a gang member who was arrested on a home invasion charge but was released because it was his first time and his age.”
The troubled man had stated that with his wife, they are arguing and now sleeping separately. “This is a mess and we’ve been arguing about it for an entire week. I don’t want to risk our financial and personal security but my wife argued that we can’t just throw her away. At this point we’re not even sleeping in the same bed but I’m hesitant to open our house up to the girl and her lifestyle. My wife argues that if we don’t take her, she’ll go into foster care but I pointed out if we don’t take any of them, they’ll all go into foster care.”

Then he gave a little update and wanted advice from Redditors. “We’re both in our late 20s, have been married for a little over a 2 years, have no kids, and I just graduated with my advanced degree last year. Last month we were talking about maybe having kids when we’re in our mid 30s and about where we want to go on our Christmas vacation. Last week my wife came home, sat me down, and told me we’re taking in 3 kids. “
“I knew what was going on with her sister and was told my wife’s parents were going to take the kids in. Apparently they decided they are too old to take care of 3 kids. Of everyone in her family, we are the most financially secure and have a house so when everyone backed out, she volunteered without asking me. That was the crux of our argument until I realized that it was happening with or without my agreement. That’s when I told her we can take the boys but not the girl which started another round of arguments.”

Here are the advices given by other Redditors;
“As some one who has fostered and is in adoption process, I appreciate you telling them like it is. This idea that he can just choose to adopt and no one will be around to tell him what is what is naive and arrogant.”
“I get why people are upset, but ultimately adoption needs to be a unanimous decision. There’s no point forcing someone to care for a child if they don’t want to. That’s not in the best interest of anyone. Your niece has lots of issues and she needs someone who’s willing to help her get her life on track. That’s clearly not you. It’s going to be difficult and I don’t blame you for not taking that responsibility, but be ready that your wife might leave you over this.”
“She is 14 years old not 21, she is still a kid who needs support and a lot of counselling. Throwing her away because it’s not easy is horrible, those two boys are terrors but can be taught? Were you still the same person you were when you were 14?? Most people aren’t.”

What do you think? Let us know.