A MAN HAD ASKED THAT IF HE WAS WRONG WHEN HE HAD DANCED WITH HIS STEP MOTHER WHEN HIS BIOLOGICAL MOTHER WAS IN THE WEDDING TOO
A man had asked that if he is wrong or not to have a son-mother dance with his step mother, while his own mother was in his wedding too. He shared his story on Reddit and wanted some advice from the people on the social media platform.
He had intoduced his family on the beginning and talked about the divorce of her parents when he was at the age of five, as he shared, “Im (29M) currently planning a wedding and were getting into the nitty gritty details. For background my parents got divorced when I was 5. The divorce happened after my dad fell in love with his current wife/my stepmom Alice. They claim they didn’t cheat but waited to be separated before anything physical happened. I dont know or need to know whether thats true at this point.”
Then he had talked about how he and his stepmother are close to one another and the difference the relationship with him and his own mother. “My dad and Alice got married and were living together by the time I was 7. They had my two siblings within the next 4 years. My parents had split custody and Alice was 100% a mother figure to me. We are very close, she’s been there for me for every tough moment of my life. She also helped pay for my college and grad school which Im extremely appreciative of. My mom is a good mom but we’ve never been as close as I am with my dad and Alice. Our personalities are just very different.”
Then he stated that he had asked his stepmother that if she would dance with him in his wedding, as he stated, “We’re planning the first dances right now and have my first dance with my fiancee and she has hers picked out with her dad. Her parents are still married so there’s no drama there. Being so close to Alice, I really dont feel right excluding her and only doing a dance with my mom, so I asked her if she’d be comfortable doing one with me as well. She was overjoyed and cried with emotion.”
When his mother had learnt about this, she got mad and there was a discussion between them, as he wrote, “Im really excited for it. But once my mom found out she flipped out. Said Im replacing her like my dad replaced her. I told her its not a replacement but she’s been so supportive of me my entire life and I consider her a true “bonus mother” so I dont want to exclude her. She doesnt want to accept that.”
“Yesterday my aunt (mom’s sister) called me and ripped me a new one. I know its a little controversial but in my heart its what I really want to do. AITA for going through with this and having two mother son dances? Personally, I’ve been to a few weddings with steps involved where there were two mother son or father daughter and it seemed really sweet, not like overkill. I would do shortened versions of the songs so it wont be too long if that matters.” he concluded his post and wanted some advice from the people on the Reddit.
Here are some of the advices the Redditors had gave the man under the comments section.
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byu/No-Pressure3284 from discussion
inAmItheAsshole
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byu/No-Pressure3284 from discussion
inAmItheAsshole
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byu/No-Pressure3284 from discussion
inAmItheAsshole
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byu/No-Pressure3284 from discussion
inAmItheAsshole
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byu/No-Pressure3284 from discussion
inAmItheAsshole
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byu/No-Pressure3284 from discussion
inAmItheAsshole
“You are allowed to include your step mom and your mom is allowed to be upset you are choosing your dad’s affair partner (because absolutely they did not wait to be physical, and clearly didn’t wait on the emotional) to be honored the same. And the weddings you are talking about where all the steps are included and honored, typically don’t involve cheating and affair partners.”
“NTA- but maybe do your bio moms dance first, separate it by the daddy daughter, then do the step mom? Just to give bio mom a little time and to know she is “first”. Before the hate comes at me, just try to be kind. Your bio mom is likely feeling deep down that you are just throwing her away, she even stated it, you aren’t but it still hurts. It is your wedding, you can stage dances with whomever you want, just be kind in this respect.”
“That woman broke your family and then wormed her way into your heart with money and your saying it puts her on the same level as your real mother? Is she by any chance also involved in paying for your wedding?”
What do you think? Let us know.
