DARK SKINNED FATHER, DEMANDED A DNA TEST, WHEN HIS DAUGHTER BORN AS A WHITE BABY

A 24-year-old woman had posted her story of paternity test, with her husband, 31-year-old, on Reddit, as she wanted advice from other users.

She had stated, “My (24F) husband (31M) asked for a paternity test, it came back positive but our relationship was never the same.”

Then she started to talk about her struggle, as she gave birth to a pale baby, from her dark skinned husband, as she described, “dark skin and dark eyes and hair”.

Then she continued with a description of her newborn daughter, and stated that when she was looking not like him, he wanted a DNA test, as she said, “but our daughter doesn’t, she looks exactly like my great grandparents (really pale, blonde and green eyed) but apparently he didn’t think it was possible that our daughter could look like my great grandparents, and from the moment he saw her he told me he wanted a paternity test.”

She later on continued and stated that she felt humiliated with the situation, since she was loving her husband, and had no affair. “At first I refused because I felt it was humiliating and because I didn’t think it was necessary because I never cheated on him and I hoped he would trust me but he didn’t and for the first two months of our daughter’s life he made my life hell.” She said.

“He didn’t want to hold her even if she cried desperately while I was doing something else, he never woke up at night to help me with her, he never helped me with anything and that hurt me so much because with our boys he was completely different. He helped me all the time with absolutely everything and he was always there for me after giving birth, but this time he left me alone and it was the worst experience of my life.” She stated the problems he had caused on the first times as they returned home from hospital.

“I have no family here and his entire family from the moment they saw my daughter turned their backs on me, I don’t have any friends here either so it was just my daughter and me. She is a colicky baby so it was very difficult for me to do everything alone and on top of that help with our sons.”

Then later on, she had stated that she accepted his request of a DNA test, and said, “I decided to do the paternity test because one day his entire family came to our house to celebrate my son’s birthday and no one spoke to me and they didn’t want to include my daughter in the photos that my in laws took of all the grandchildren. So I knew it was stupid to keep waiting for them to come to their senses.”
With the result of the DNA test, everbody got shocked, as it turned out positive. “Well, the paternity test came back positive and everyone was shocked and of course they felt guilty for not having believed in me. Everyone apologized and my husband even cried when he held our daughter in his arms for the first time and I know that his apologies were genuine and that’s why I forgave him but I don’t know if I can forgive his family. They treated me really badly and said horrible things about me just a few days after giving birth and I can’t forget their insults or violence.” She said.

“My husband knows that I don’t want to see his family nor do I want them near any of our children and he told his family, so these last three months it has been just the five of us, but it doesn’t feel as good as I expected. My husband is constantly apologizing and crying every time he holds our daughter and I am getting tired of this situation. I want us to be happy as we were before. So how can we move on? My husband suggested that we should start couples therapy, how much can therapy help?” she added, that she felt humiliated and needed some time alone.

Later on, she had given an update, regarding their family drama, as she didn’t had mentioned before in her first text. She had a male friend that was acting “too” close to her. She stated, Before I got pregnant I met a man (I think he’s in his early fifties) at work and you could say that he’s a little too friendly, for example he liked to buy me and another female coworker (she’s in her late fifties) coffee every morning, or once in a while he used to leave a flower on our desks and things like that, that never seemed strange to me because he never tried anything with any of us, he was always just friendly, and he was always talking about his wife, children and grandchildren and giving us parenting advice.” She explained and added that her husband was not happy with that man close to his wife.

“Well, my husband didn’t like that I was friends with this man because he said that he was sure that this man liked me because I’m young and that he would soon try something with me, and when he told me that I told him that I wouldn’t stop being friends with him because he was always respectful and I didn’t see anything wrong with being friends with a man. And I’m not gonna lie, he got really angry but after a few days he forgot about it.” She stated.

“But all those doubts resurfaced when our daughter was born, because she had a lot of platinum blonde hair, which none of our other children (5M, 4M) had, and my husband thought she would look like her brothers, but no, she looked completely different from him and me and that made him doubt, my coworker is not blonde but he has the same eye color as our daughter and he’s very pale just like her.” She added.

“So my husband asked me for a paternity test and I refused because it was humiliating and because I thought that at least he would educate himself about basic biology but he didn’t, and when I say this I mean that my great grandparents look exactly like my daughter, same color hair, eyes and skin, and he always knew that but decided to ignore it to believe that I was cheating on him. And I know that I helped this situation escalate and end badly because I should have accepted the paternity test, and I say that because here it is not easy to do a paternity test without authorization from both parents.”

And then she proceeded to talk about her family-in-law, and how bad a relationship they had.

“And regarding his sister and mother, they never liked me and for a while we even stopped having contact with his family because I didn’t like the way they treated me, but when our second son was born I felt alone because it was just my husband, his friends, our son and I and I wanted my children to grow up with a family so we got back in touch with them and in fact they treated me very well until my daughter was born.” She said.

She added, “And when they pulled my hair my husband wasn’t present and I didn’t tell him until a few weeks later, and by then they had a big fight because of that. I swear that he was never violent nor did he ever endorse anyone being violent with me.”

“Well, the update is that I gave him an ultimatum and told him that I want to go live in my home country and be close to my family and that if he didn’t want that then the only option would be getting divorced. When I told him that, I also told him that I’m talking to a lawyer to advise me on divorce and joint custody, and I guess that made him realize that I was being serious because he said he would be willing to do that to earn my forgiveness. Another thing I asked him is to cut off contact with his family forever because I don’t want our children to suffer what I suffered with them, and he agreed.” She stated that she wanted to live away from them, and she wanted her husband with her too.

“At the moment our plan is to travel for Christmas and stay there for a few weeks and move in the middle of next year. In the meantime we will go to couples and individual therapy and hope to be able to solve our problems. So far things are going well and I hope they continue that way.” She concluded her post.

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