HUSBAND INVITED WIFE TO A RESTAURANT, AND SAID THAT SHE SHOULD PAY THE BILL

A woman had shared her story on Reddit’s r/AITA subreddit, that her husband and herself are having problems in their marriage, as they had once tried a joint bank account, and it got failed, when her husband had spend the money unwisely. And recently, he had invited his wife to a restaurant, and created a drama, when she paid what she ate.
She had stated that her husband is bad with money. “Me f30 and my husband M32 have been married for 4 months. He likes to be independent in everything. Especially when it comes to money. He’s bad with money meaning he never plans for tomorrow and enjoys buying new things everyday.”
Then they tried joint bank account, and it got worse. “I approached him with the idea of having a joint account. And he said okay. But sadly he took it as in his salary was doubled up and kept purchasing stuff that are expensive without evening running it through me. It was just like grab money and go spend it. Not okay because we have commitments.”
She continued on their conversation as, “I talked to him. His response’s that since his money’s in that account meaning he doesn’t have to tell me about where he spends it because technically…it’s his money. He admitted joint account was bad idea and unnecessary; In his words “am I crazy to think that everyone should just be able to have their own money to spend regardless of wether they were married or not?””
Then they agreed of separated accounts. “We decided that each of us have our own salary but both equally pay for everything. He agreed long as he could buy whatever he want with his money.”
When they had ate in a restaurant, due to their background, she wanted separate bills for the dinner, which surprised her husband. “Last night he suggested we go eat at a restaurant. I assumed each of us pay for our own meals. We arrived and he ordered more dishes than me and two types of desserts. When it was time for paying. I asked the waitress for separate bills and my husband looked confused when he heard.”
They they had a problem like, “He said “You’re not gonna pay for my meal too?” I told him it’s his decision that each of us pay for everything ‘individually’. Told him this is what separate finances means. He got upset saying he spent all the money he had before coming to the restaurant and didn’t think I’d actually decline to pay. So it’s fair that I pay for dinne? After he argued and threw a fit I just paid for my meal and was about to leave when he called me selfish and mean.”
Then the argument continued at home too, as her husband had arrived two hours later. “He came home 2 hours later telling me his buddy came and paid for his meal no problem. He said I shouldn’t have declined to pay for his meal and was being mean to him. I told him to not take his misplaced anger out on me but he still argued with me about what I did and how unacceptable it was.”
She concluded her story as, “After that I took some time to calm down. We had a talk this morning and when I suggested therapy first thing he said “Okay, But who’s paying?” Then reminded me of what I did and how unacceptable it was. He keeps bringing it up and wants me to apologize.”
Here are some of the comments of Redditors.
“NTA but jeez, how did it get to this point? What was the financial discussion like before marriage? I mean, if this isn’t resolved somehow the marriage will fall apart.”
“OP listen to this advice. This is a parade of red flags. I’m very concerned. How do you plan to save for goals like a home, college (if you have kids), retirement, other plans like a vacation or car, if your spouse feels entitled to spend absolutely every penny he (and you) earn??? If you have children, don’t think for a minute that he will provide any of the expenses for the child. It’s only been four months. Don’t hang on to your mistakes just because you spent a lot of time making them.”
What do you think? Let us know.