A father had shared his story of how he caught his MIL while breastfeeding her grandchild, his child, and how he confronted with her. He asked for advice on Reddit about his issue.
He had stated that he lost his wife on the birth. Then explained that he needed a nanny to take care of his child while he was at work. “I am a widower. I lost my wife (Anne 34) just minutes after she gave birth to our first baby (Sammy). She had a difficult pregnancy so I took an indefinite leave 3 months before she was due. Sammy’s 4 months old now and before I went back to work, I told my MIL (Sandra 56) about my plans and if she can recommend a nanny to take care of my daughter when I work. She offered to do it (nanny) for free.”
He had agreed with his MIL to being the nanny of his child, and gave her a key to his house. As he shared, “I told her she’s free to come by anytime during the day if she feels uncomfortable with a nanny looking after Sammy but she insisted on doing it herself. So I said yes and gave her a copy of the house keys. She comes 30 mins. before I leave for work, and when I come home, she stays for dinner and leaves after putting Sammy to sleep.”
Then he had found out that his MIL was breasfeeding his child, as he stated, “Everything was fine for the first couple of weeks until I noticed that Sammy’s not feeding as much. Her formula’s barely touched. I asked Sandra about it and why Sammy’s not feeding well. She said she’s trying to breastfeed my daughter. At first I thought she was joking then I realized she wasn’t.”
He continued, “She said Sammy needs to latch for a few minutes everyday to “activate” her milk production. I almost lost it, I told her she cannot do that, and she needs to stop. She said she will but I caught her again when I walked in my daughter’s room and she was forcing Sammy to latch. I confronted her and told her she’s no longer my baby’s nanny. I didn’t ask for the key back as she is still welcome to come visit anytime.”
After he took a leave from work, for a week to find a suitable nanny for his daughter, he had learnt that his MIL fired the nanny and again came to look after his daughter. “I asked for a 1 week leave from work to care for my daughter and find a nanny. I found one but two days after she never returned. I called her and she said my “Mother” fired her the day before. I asked her to describe the woman and I was livid when I realized it was Sandra. She came in my house using her key and fired my nanny. I was about to call her when she showed up and said a convoluted story like how I hired an incompetent nanny, etc. etc. I told her to leave but she refused and told me she’s calling CPS because I am endangering my child. We argued back and forth before I called the police and she was charged with trespassing.”
He later concluded his post and asked for advice. “I know my MIL is grieving the loss of her daughter, I am too. But she crossed the line when she disregarded my wishes. She is very upset with me. My SIL and BIL are calling me ruthless and I am now second guessing myself. Have I taken it too far by calling the police?“
Here are some of the comments and advices the other Redditors had gave to the troubled father.
“Her trying to breastfeed your daughter without your permission is gross and completely wrong. Beyond that she FIRED YOUR NANNY? I’d ask for your key back and set some serious boundaries.”
“She tried to breastfeed your daughter & she isn’t your daughter’s mother. She hid it from you & refused to stop when you found out & told her to. During this time, she allowed your newborn daughter to go without eating – forcing her to suck on her old dry tits (instead of a bottle with food in it) in a sick attempt to induce lactation.”
“Oh…. My…. God… NTA. Keep that crazy person away from your child, who cares f it’s their grandparent. Not only was that so disgusting but she was also starving your child.”
“Your mil is not right in the head. A woman can not just spontaneously produce milk if she hasn’t been pregnant. She would have to have been on some pretty strong hormones for several months in addition to multiple times a day pumping in-order to even start production.”
What do you think? Let us know.
